Belmondo Diary

Belmondo June 2019

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SUNDAY June 2nd, 2019

Gerrits has been sacked as Olivier Guégan accepted my offer. It’s a new era here at Nijmegen Eendracht Combinatie. Lasse Skov also accepted my contract offer after Leeds were happy with my lowball transfer bid.

I had a big surprise today when De Hemel brewery dropped off ten cases of their new beer, called Belmondo Brew. Perfect! There wasn’t a lot of space to store it, so I had them stack it in the old room that no-one seems to use any more. It used to be used for boots, apparently.

MONDAY June 3rd, 2019

Newcastle told me they’re happy to sell veteran striker, Siem de Jong, but Mr. de Jong told me in no uncertain terms that he will not be signing for us. Snob.
Another Spaniard has signed for free because of his excitement over my skill and ambition. Dani Garcia loves running from end to end and scoring the occasional screamer. If he turns out to be as good as seems, I might have to rejig the tactical plans to suit him.

TUESDAY June 4th, 2019

The fans are going to be mad, but Breno is off to Monaco. They gave me $17 million straight up. No clauses or future payments. Just cold, hard cash. I told him he’s always welcome to come back and he thanked me for helping him develop into the player he is. He said he’d love to return. Can’t ask for more than that.

I’m hoping the signing of a 24 year old Uruguayan fullback can placate the fans over the sale of a 23 year old Brazilian fullback. It looks like Lucas Olaza is coming in. It would be nice if the fans trusted me. And the players for that matter. We’ll see how they all react when the Breno news goes wide.

WEDNESDAY June 5th, 2019

Ronaldo has won Best Player in Europe again. He’s a machine.

I called a meeting of my key staff today. We decided to have it in that old boot room in order to take advantage of the beer. I brought a little card table in and you know what, it was actually a cool spot to meet. We might make it a habit.

Olivier Guégan was there, obviously. With him was Iddo Roscher, my head of youth development. He’s one of the most mentally savvy guys I know at the club. Joe McLaughlin also came in. I invited him instead of my head scout because he’s Scottish and fun to listen to. And he knows his stuff. Finally, rounding out the Fantastic Five was Han Tijshen, the head physio. Han. Like Solo. Brilliant.

We discussed tactics for the upcoming season. I proposed a genius lineup that mimicked the diagonal system used briefly in Brazil in the 1940s. A bit unconventional and a bit stylish. Like me. However, the guys convinced me that it might be worth sticking to the two options we used last season. The team is there. They know how we play. If we add a couple of new pieces (already done) then we can challenge for the title.

THURSDAY June 6th, 2019

OH MY GOD. My peers have found their senses. I’ve been given the Manager’s Manager of the Year award. I guess they were just waiting for me to show my potential by winning a trophy. I’d say it’s an honor, but it’s a bit late to be considered that way. Either way, it can sit next to the Dutch Cup trophy in the boot room.
Lasse Skov has signed. We’re in really good shape. I think I need to look for a keeper now. Jimmy Smits is nice to have around, but it would be great to have a real game-winner on the books. With Goicoechea back in Bordeaux, I need to get hunting.

FRIDAY June 7th, 2019

Manchester United have accepted a bid for Wayne Rooney. Rooney didn’t even do me the courtesy of speaking on the phone. He just had his agent tell me there was no way we could afford his wages. Oh how little you know, Wayne. I could have turned you into a winner. Oh well.

I did, however, just agree contract details with a Dutch keeper by the name of Van der Hart. He’s been playing a year in Turkey, so he’s a bit excited to come back to Holland. An ex-PEC Zwolle man and a product of the Ajax youth setup, he’s perfect for us. He’s only 24, and I bet he could play for us for 10 years.
SUNDAY June 9th, 2019

I’ve got a new job! Still managing N.E.C., but I’ve been offered the job of managing the U.S. in the Olympics! I’d completely forgotten I’d applied in between all this wheeling and dealing and winning the Manager’s Manager of the Year award. I just got off the phone with Jurgen Klinsmann and he’s excited to see what I can bring to the team. I never dreamed I’d win an Olympic Gold Medal, but now I will. Amazing.

The qualifying has not yet begun, but it looks like I just have to finish above Costa Rica, Guatemala, and Canada. Canada! Ha. I didn’t know they even played soccer. This is going to be fun.
And I assume I’ll get a medal as the manager. Right?

SATURDAY June 15th, 2019

West Ham are putting bids in for Ayoub. Bastards. I’ve been able to reject them so far. I sold off Meijers and Parr, but I’ve got some bids in for some fullbacks to replace them with. I need some improvement there.

We’re now ranked 45th team in Europe. That’s three spots above Girondins Bordeaux. Three spots above our parent team. Three spots above the team that is supposed to treat us as a feeder team. Shouldn’t there be some sort of automatic termination of such an agreement when something like this happens? Ajax is only two spots above us. There are only five Premier League teams above us. I’d say things are going well. I’d expect a new contract offer from the board any day now.

TUESDAY June 18th, 2019

Two different Dutch teams made public bids for two different strikers today. See, this is why I am sure there’s a coalition of managers in the league working together to ruin my path to glory. I rejected both, but I doubt that will stop them.

I’ve signed a fullback from Spain who can play on either side with considerable skill and in the central defence with decent skill. Eneko Boveda has been plying his trade in Espanyol most recently, but with PAOK in Greece for four years before that. And he’s Basque, which just adds to our multiculturalism here at N.E.C.

SATURDAY June 22nd, 2019

Two teams have made bids for Christian Santos! Oh, the humanity. One of them was an offer of $0. Zero. Zilch. Nada. Inconceivable! He’s staying, naturally. He’s still got a lot to offer me.

The team.

And then it happened. Christian wanted to meet with me to discuss why I didn’t let him move to Switzerland. I mean, I can’t believe it. I’d heard about how mercenary players were in the game, but this is just insane. I told him I need him. I asked him what I could do to make him want to stay. He said he needed Champions League. I said I’d give it to him. Champions League, that is. He said he’d stay.

Now I have to get into the Champions League. No question.

MONDAY June 24th, 2019

The U20 World Cup has just ended and Goran Sekulovski, my little Australian, won the goal of the tournament award. In fact, he came first and second. I congratulated him and he was very chirpy about it, said it was his best goal so far, but that there were more to come. I cannot wait.

SUNDAY June 30th, 2019

Van der Vaart and Krisztián Vadócz retired today. One had a storied career and the other had a journeyman career. They both served us well, but their freed up salaries will help tremendously.
Rooney has been released by Manchester United and is now a free agent. He refused my offer, once again.

And Christian Santos has broken my heart. Zurich came back in again for him and Christian simply wouldn’t listen to me. I wish him well, but I never want to see him again. That’s all I can write for now. Back next month

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