AN FM’S GUIDE TO AN IDIOT – The Squad

This is the third installment by our guest author Grant Sales.

This thing is the real arse-ache of my first few days in office. You never get a team that is 100%. Sadly.

So you have to look through, find your weaknesses and look to strengthen in areas. As all of you know and have done so since the year dot.

Confession. I have ZERO idea on what makes a good player for each position. I don’t even use the tool that highlights the best attributes for each position. I’d like to tell you all that I’m too old and inflexible, but the truth is that I’m just lazy and can’t be arsed to keep checking.

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So this is my squad, eh? (Literally) Ass Man thinks we have some potential in this squad. And what would he know? So let’s go through what I look for in each position.
Goalkeeper.

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This guy  is my standout of the two keepers. First off, I always look at the attributes graphic. This has been invaluable to me since it’s inception as now I don’t have to be blinded by a row of numbers.

He’s 6’ 1”, very important, as I once had Zacharie Boucher in goal at 5’ 11 and he KEPT GETTING LOBBED BY CROSSES FROM THE WING. His Handling is 11, so middling, along with his Composure & Concentration. Reflexes are at 13 and Eccentricity is thankfully low at 7. All in all, he’s good enough to get us out of Ligue 2, but certainly not good enough to stop us going back.

DEFENCE
Full Back

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This guy is my standout FB.  First thought is that he’s 27, so a tad old for me. Then I notice he’s on £6k p/w. so although he’s my best full back, he’s getting paid too much. Now, to business. His Crossing is 12 and hisPositioning, Tackling, Marking & Acceleration are all 13. These are the qualities I look for in a full back.
Centre Back

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This guy. This f**** guy. He’s the best of a bad bunch. I like my centre backs to be 6’ 2” and over. 6’ is an ABSOLUTE minimum. Don’t care if the guy is the second coming of Cannavaro, I don’t like 5’ 11” centre backs. I usually like a CB to be pretty quick so this guy’s Acceleration (12) and Pace (11) aren’t ideal for me, but like I said, best of a bad bunch. His mentals are average and his Tackling (11) and Marking (12) are mediocre. Finally, his Jumping (12) &Heading (14) mean that, he’ll do the job.

MIDFIELD

Defensive Midfielder

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I genuinely have no idea what I’m looking for in a DM. But, by this guy’s graphic, he’s basically a decent DM. No other flashy stuff.

Central Midfield/Attacking Midfielder

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“BEEEEEEEF!” will be the cry when this guy does well for me, I think! The ex-Lecce player ends up here eh? He’ll be a perfect focal point for my play, due to his Flair (14), Passing (13), First Touch (14), Vision (14) &Technique (14), which is what I use to determine a CM/AMC’s worth.

Wide Players

Using wide players is a relatively new thing for me as I tend to either have them as Rosicky/Hleb-esque players (guess who I’m a fan of..) or I play narrow through the middle. But, as we all know, this is the time to try and break that mould. So here, this is what I assume to be our best winger.

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Dribbling is good (14), as is Pace (13) & Acceleration (15). Finally, First Touch & Technique are good at 14, though Balance is down at 11.

ATTACK

Striker

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Again, I like them quick and with the PPM ‘Tries To Beat Offside Trap’. Sadly, I have this. The on-loan Wigan Athletic striker is a decent striker from what I can see, but his Acceleration (15), Pace (13), Anticipation (11) andDecisions (9) are all wildly uneven, from being quick off the mark, to making the wrong decisions.

I usually like to have my squad in a situation where I have an established player, a backup and a youth player for each position and usually, I sell all my wingers. This time? I have no idea…

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